Alphabet
by SecretsOfSorrow
Summary: 26 letters for Shinichi and Shiho. E for Evaporate : But a detective would not be a detective if there was nothing to detect. Discontinued.
1. Airport

**Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan.**

A for Airport

They sat in silence on the padded chairs, contrasting with the hustle and bustle of the airport. It was more familiar ground to them. Somehow, it managed to convey more messages from them than words ever did. He was the one who broke it, no longer able to stand the awkward atmosphere between them.

'Why?'

A million pleas for a reason, _any _reason for her departure, were conveyed in a single word. She sighed. She knew this game well; they had played it countless times over.

'I don't want to mess up your life even further. Go. Go back to Teitan High School, to Mouri Ran, to your previous life. Even now, you should be there spending time with your friends, not here to see me off. You've yearned for this moment for months. Cherish it while you can.' Even as she stared straight ahead, it was blatantly obvious that he was hurt by her words.

'I can't throw away my Conan memories, Shiho. I've matured so much since then. Or would you rather I go back to my previous naïve self, not knowing these harsh realities of life, far more gruesome than any murder that I've ever seen?'

This elicited a soft chuckle from her. Shinichi narrowed his eyes, looking at hers; he had always loved the way her eyes shone with a serene, lapis lazuli fire whenever she laughed, which was far too infrequent in his opinion. For a while, she did not respond, as if debating something with herself.

'I'm sorry.'

A look of surprise was momentarily etched on his fine features, but was quickly masked by a flawless poker face. Clearly, this was not what he had expected. He noticed that Shiho was staring at her feet as she continued.

'I'm sorry for creating that damned drug, for ruining your life, for taking you away from Mouri Ran. I'm sorry for letting you get so close to the Organization, for rendering you not able to respond to your own name, for forcing you into this life of lies, guilt and deceit. I'm sorry...'

'Attention, all passengers taking flight 647 to Los Angeles. You may now proceed to board the plane. We wish you a good day.'

Shiho looked breathless to the point of panting slightly, perhaps even a little wide-eyed at making that speech. Shinichi simply looked stunned, his mouth dropping open to form a perfect 'o'. A snicker escaped from her mouth.

'That's your flight.' Shinichi stated bluntly, regaining his composure. Her head jerked down by a few centimeters, acknowledging his statement, her coffee-brown tresses swinging forward. She stood, rather unceremoniously, taking a few steps towards the gates where her plane was just beyond.

Shiho turned for a last glance at the detective. He was staring straight at her, his mesmerizing sapphire orbs meeting her own in a sort of determined gesture of farewell, pulled off with a foreboding air of finality that she would never have thought him capable of. She choked back a sob. She had never had any use for goodbyes; most of the people that she knew had simple been _gone_ before she had a chance to say anything. She would not let this time be another chance to leave regrets.

'You know what, Shinichi?' she asked in a voice so soft that it would have been impossible to hear at that distance.

'What?' he mouthed back. Both of them understood each other perfectly, despite the fact that they had never been particularly proficient at lip-reading. She took a deep breath.

'I'm sorry...that I believed we had a chance.'


	2. Ball

A/N: I just want to say thank you to Merialle and Eeveebeth Fejvu for being my first

reviewers. Those wonderful reviews really made my day.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan.**

B for Ball

Shiho glided gracefully across the dance floor, her evening gown, heliotrope in colour, trailed behind her, catching the eyes of many men. Politely declining yet _another _invitation to dance, she made her way towards the long tables filled with trays of some of the finest delicacies the world had to offer, prepared by well-known chefs that seemed to have come from just about every country known to her, hoping that no one would bother her there.

It was just as well she had her mask on anyway. The viridian accessory had limited her vision to what she could see just in front of her, which was irritating, but at least it kept most of those idiots from her sight. She stood at a corner of the ballroom, watching the scene before her with an apathetic eye.

She wished that she had never agreed to come to this function. Most of the people invited here were wealthy businessmen or highly popular actresses; there was hardly anybody here that she could hold an intelligent conversation with. However, Agasa-hakase had mailed her from Japan and _insisted_ that she came in his stead, never mind that she was somewhere in London, saying that it would be a good opportunity for her to go out and meet more people. She hated functions, and the fact that it was a masked ball made the whole thing seem even more unbearable. Seriously, she knew that the person who organized it was a tad eccentric, but this was taking it a little too far.

'Excuse me, miss, would you do me the honour of allowing me to dance with you?'

It was a young gentleman, she noted, that approached her, wearing a white shirt and a black tailcoat in a perfect imitation of a suit that could have been preserved from a _long_ time back when it was popular. He had on a cobalt blue mask, making it impossible for his face to be seen, but everything from the pitch of his voice to his smooth, unwrinkled hands pointed to the fact that he was, most probably, no older than her. At last, here was someone that had manners. She smiled gently to herself and placed her hand in his.

They danced in silence for a while to a slow melody that drifted from the speakers. Before long, he had managed to strike up a pleasant enough conversation. He was a year younger than her, currently pursuing a degree in forensic science. He seemed to know quite a lot about her line of work, too, about her own achievements in biochemistry. She was rather flattered when he was able to identify her and praised her discoveries, attributing them to the development of certain new cures which have proved to be quite effective so far.

'Well, you know who I am. May I ask for your name?' Shiho decided that it was only common courtesy, since they have danced together. Furthermore, he interested her, which was something that few people could do.

'Kudo Shinichi. My name is Kudo Shinichi. Pleased to make your acquaintance... again.'


	3. Comrade

A/N: I'm really, really sorry for not updating sooner, but my teachers decided to bombard me with homework, hence I was unable to update. Oh, and thanks again for the reviews. It puts me on a sugar high.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan.**

C for Comrade

Dear Shiho,

How are you? Down here, we're all okay, except for all those recent murders happening around Beika. Yes, don't laugh, death still follows me like a puppy on a leash.

You know, it's like you never left. I can still see you tapping away at that keyboard of yours, hidden deep inside the depths of Agasa-hakase's basement. Or maybe sitting by that the lake in the park, watching the last rays of setting sun reflect off the ripples of the water, glittering like jewels. Or even right beside me as I examine the evidence during a case, offering useful advice that makes me realize the one truth that I always search for, now and forever.

What is it called when I see you around me all the time and yet know that you are not here, nor will you ever be again? I can laugh with Ran, play around with Kaito, watch baseball with Hattori, chat about mysteries with Hakuba. But whatever I do, you would be there, like in my memories, infecting us with your icy demeanor and sarcastic sense of humor, injecting us with a much needed dose of common sense. Is this what they call missing a person? If it is, then I miss you, Shiho. Very much so.

I don't know if I have ever told you this, but I used to believe that it was unforgivable for you to make the drug which shrunk us both, hence our initial relationship got off with a rocky start. Over time, though, I realized that my views on what was 'right' and 'wrong' were warped, because the line that divides them was unclear, a grey spot in the middle of light and darkness. I should have realized this earlier, and for that I'm sorry.

Do you still remember the promise Edogawa Conan made to Haibara Ai long ago? _I'll protect you, no matter what._ I intended to keep that promise, but I was too foolish to think that we could get out of this deep pit that we've fallen into without any losses. I just wish that sacrifice didn't have to be you.

Honestly, the chances of us maintaining even a platonic relationship were quite low, but it seemed like we managed to beat those odds. For that, I'm glad. But what I'm happiest about is that we went even further to become comrades that would always stand by each other, however unlikely that may be, like how you defended me in front of the police officers. If a equals 1, b equals 2 and so on, friendship equals 108 while love only equals 54. Whatever I think, feel and understand about you will always be twice as much as anyone else. I hope you know that.

I really liked having you as a friend, even though you came from the Black Organization. I really liked chatting to you in the dead of the night. I really liked looking after you when you were sick. I really liked making you laugh just so I could see your smile. Just a few nights before, when we were huddled up together watching some late night drama, you told me that I reminded you of somebody. I didn't have to ask, and you didn't have to say who. But it was nice to think that you did this with your sister at some point in time. Sort of proves that you are just like us, you know?

You were never good at expressing your feelings, but I knew what you wanted to say anyway. I can't talk, can I? I left Ran to deal with herself for so long, and I never got to tell you that I love you, even if it is just as a sister, a person with such a unique position in my heart that could never be replaced. But I really loved you. I really did.

So rest in peace, my dear fallen comrade.


	4. Doll

A/N: My teachers are giving me more work _after _exams, not _before_, hence it is not in my power to choose when I want to update. I probably will be this busy in the June holidays too. I will try to update quickly, but don't expect much. This one is horrible, I know. And roankun, a drabble is a fic of 100 words, and yes, it is something like that, my chapters are all unrelated.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan.**

D for Doll

She didn't think much of him when they first met. She decided that he was like a doll, with those impossibly cerulean eyes and porcelain skin, all his talk about justice and the truth covered by his own lies, a hypocrite. She had never liked them.

Dolls reminded her of the superficial people that human beings were, always going for looks and never seeing someone for who they really are. Dolls were perfect, their artificial plastic skin so fair, their hair so straight and smooth. Their eyes stared right at you, their lashes ever so long that it pierced right into you, stealing your heart without you even noticing it. It was disgusting, their feeble imitations of humans so horribly distorted. It irked her.

---

It took a little time before she accepted him, and saw that he was not that bad after all. He was too innocent, like the seven-year-old he pretended to be, his smile instantly brightening up a person's day. It took quite a while for her to be trusted with the other side of him, where salty tears mingled with the rain, falling like glass beads off a necklace that had its string cut. Her affection for him grew a little more, understanding how it felt like to not be able to be with someone you love. But deep inside, there was that hint of jealousy that he could get that person back (_and those blue, blue doll's eyes shining at the prospect_).

---

The nightmare was over, all over. She would never have to look behind and wonder if someone would kill her ever again. She would not need to play the little girl she was now accustomed to seeing in the mirror ever again. Her education was more than enough for her to be in whatever job she wished to apply for. Still, she stayed in that dark basement she that she hardly left, her nimble fingers sailing over its length. And the next day, there would be no traces left that she had once lived here, save for a small pill left on the table.

---

It went by in a blink of an eye, these last few years in Europe like a dream that she had never grown used to. She was now a respected figure in the science community, but she missed Japan, the spring cherry blossoms so full of life yet so ephemeral. She just wished, yearned, wanted, _needed_ to forget him, the only doll that had managed to capture her heart. With a single letter, all her hopes had been crushed (_it was his wedding invitation_).

And she cried like she hadn't years ago when she left, when her heart she froze (_the only way to keep it from bleeding dry_), when she plastered that smile on her face to stop people from prying (_like the dolls she resented_).

She had long known that their roles had been reversed; she was now the doll, the puppet, the marionette of sorrow with her happiness at his mercy.


	5. Evaporate

A/N: Holidays are busier than school days. Period.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan.**

E for Evaporate

It was almost quiet. If not for the slight pitter-patter of the light drizzle, or the occasional howls of the wind, or the swish of the waves before it recedes, then yes, we could say it was quiet. But for now, it was content to remain almost so.

And it was almost dark. If not for the moonlight that illuminated the white beach ever so slightly, or the hotel nearby, full of light and sights and sounds, for no one cared to go onto the beach in the rain. But look just a little closer, or squint a little more, and you may see a tiny shadow that hardly stood out against the dark background.

Or a small figure that had just forsaken the comfort of having a roof over her head.

_(Was she –or was it a he? - there? It's hard to tell. Yes. Yes it was.)_

It was almost impossible to tell, for shadows clung onto her _(him?) _like a child begging for a parent to stay. She disappears and reappears near that tiny, tiny form on the beach, the plastic roof she carries shields them from the droplets, like rubber bullets that melt the moment it touches his skin .

"You'll catch a cold."

_(The voice was decidedly feminine. The pitch hinted at a young girl, in the lowest ranks of elementary school. The tone suggested otherwise.)_

"No." His voice was gentle, yet laced with a subtle bitterness, like hemlock.

"No?"

"No. Because I'm an idiot."

_(Don't you remember? Idiots don't catch colds.)_

She frowned, taking a seat beside him. There was a long pause as they stared at their non-existent reflection in the too-black water. The light from the hotel weaved in and out of the palm fronds, causing streaks of light and shadow to dart everywhere. But somehow, it didn't seem to quite reach them as the shadows hugged them more possessively than ever.

"Ah," It was more an acknowledgement than a statement, of something far too complicated for us to understand. "But a detective would not be a detective if there was nothing to detect."

"But maybe, just maybe..."

"Unless you are a psychic or a time-traveller, I would think that it is physically impossible for you to prevent murders. And it is not up to us to decide if a person should or would or may be. That is for fate to decide. All we can do is to witness and move on." There was a hint of sharpness in her voice that compelled him to accept it as the truth.

"...Of course. You are right as usual."

"You knew it all along. You just needed someone to remind you. And if I didn't do it, you would mope around all day and cause others to suspect us."

He scowled, but knew that her remarks were only meant to disprove any thoughts that she did it because she cared instead of the need to make sure they didn't blow their cover.

"And what about you? Since when did it become 'us'?"

She felt the heat rise in her cheeks, but took comfort in the fact that the moon was now hidden by the dark clouds; he could not see her blush.

"Come on, they'll wonder where we are now."

_(The umbrella lay forgotten on the ground, but it was noticed that the droplets that hung on to it were the first to evaporate, like unneeded worries.)_


End file.
